Snow White and The Huntsman

2hr 7min
Rated PG-13
Starring Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, and Chris Hemsworth

The Plot:
In the epic action-adventure Snow White and the Huntsman (because nothing says watch me like a crazy woman with an army), Snow White is the only person in the land fairer than the evil queen (or at least the writers would hope) who's out to destroy her. But what the wicked ruler never imagined is that the young woman threatening her reign has been training in the art of war with a huntsman dispatched to kill her (who also just happens to be Thor, yeah the god of lightning).

What's it worth:
This movie is extra crappy chocolate wrapped in pretty packaging. Despite a mostly sumptuous, dripping (no seriously) performance by Charlize Theron, and supposedly mouthwatering appearances by Chris Hemsworth, the movie had no luster. Some scenes showed a sense of unique and colorful, if slightly unfinished, artfulness and others were completely sullen. The pacing also didn't have enough drive to keep me focused. The film spent too much time side tangenting on a horse ride through the forest and into the middle of nowhere, then traveling back again. But above all the lackluster mismatched elements of the film (That's not just a reference to Kristen Stewart) and bad storytelling, the most disheartening thing was the whole movie had no purpose. Rather than trying to inspire us to believe and reach for our dreams, or at least giving a good romp through the city and forest in which we can forget about our problems, This movie left me wondering if it had been rushed through production, and whether I should have gotten more popcorn.


This Movie is:
 
Extra Crappy Chocolate wrapped in pretty packaging!